How to install a new printer in a few easy stages

1. Pluck up courage
2. Clear away old printer and defunct computer (which has only gathered dust for months)
3. Take new printer out of the box and read the instructions
4. Look for the USB cable they claim to have sent
5. Try the cable that they sent instead
6. When this doesn't work, search through the drawer of cables and wires at home
7. Tidy them and throw some out
8. Go into office to find a USB cable in cupboard or in box by sound desk
9. When this fails, try the music shop opposite - a long shot
10. Then the shop on the corner which is bound to have one
11. Then the shop round the corner - a very long shot but recommended by #10.
12. On being told best place is in the next town, go home to collect machines to be taken to dump on way.
13. Discover why they call it a hard drive - break hammer.
14. Go to the dump and dispose of machines
15. Go to Asda on way to comuter shop and buy a USB lead!
16. Get home and discover they didn't mean a USB lead at all but a lead I had all along.
17. Follow very complicated instructions for setting up a wireless network
18. On failure realise that I have been talking to myself for quite a while.
19. Finally get contact, without ever really knowing how.
20. Print a page
21. Calculate that this simple process took just under three hours