Gone to the Dogs

The organist is away for Christmas, leaving me searching for CD versions of carols for a few services. We often sing to CDs so it shouldn't be a problem. But finding decent versions is proving harder. The worst of the lot is this CD of Christmas Carol Favourites for Dog Lovers. Until you have heard Spike and Jerry bark along to Hark the Herald, Christmas hasn't really started. You can check for yourself if you wish....

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Christmas-Carol-Favorites-Dog-Lovers/dp/B001HAZXUE/ref=sr_1_30?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1259586121&sr=1-30

The one about the Bishop and the Carol Singers

Thanks to the BUGB website I give you this excerpt from today's Daily Mail, quoting the Bishop of Croydon:

In Why Wish You A Merry Christmas - a new book published by the Church of England - the bishop also criticised schools which introduce snakes and grizzly bears to nativity plays.
He said it had the effect of 'relegating the story [of Christ] to fictional fantasy'.

'I always find it a slightly bizarre sight when I see parents and grandparents at a nativity play singing Away In A Manger as if it actually related to reality,' he writes.

'I can understand the little children being quite taken with the sort of baby of whom it can be said "no crying he makes", but how can any adult sing this without embarrassment?'

However, the Right Reverend Nick Baines calls carols 'embarrassing'
He said that Jesus would be abnormal if he had not cried as a baby.
'If we sing nonsense, is it any surprise that children grow into adults and throw out the tearless baby Jesus with Father Christmas and other fantasy figures?' he added.

'Once In Royal David’s City has Jesus as "our childhood’s pattern" — even though we know almost nothing of his childhood apart from one incident when he was 12 years old and being disobedient to his parents — and invites children to be "mild, obedient, good as he", which means what, exactly?

'This sounds suspiciously like Victorian behaviour control to me."

Has to be said I have some sympathy for him.

PS - I have posted the picture of the Bishop in case anyone thinks it's the other Nick Baines, out of the Kaiser Chiefs.

Bowie to come to Burnham-on-Sea?

More in hope than expectation I searched just now for details of ANY dates from the Thin White Duke, who has just denied stories that he is to play Glasto next year. On the first site I tried I get a pop-up box asking, "Do you want to be notified when Bowie comes to Burnham-on-Sea?"

Not sure the chances are high.

Homesick for a place that is no longer there

The joy of the iPod. I keep it on shuffle a lot of the time which means I am occasionally laughing aloud to the juxtapositions it throws out. More unlikely mixes have included Kraftwerk followed, without missing a beat, by Hugh Palmer (a fellow who's sermons I listen to regularly). It's even better when it's the other way round and following a sermon the guy says let us pray and where they haven't taped the prayer you go straight into something like Coz I Love You by the Wonderstuff (genuinely the last thing to come up on my listening).

Today the Skids came up with Working For the Yankee Dollar and I thought of Steve Mills as I always do when I hear the Skids. Neither of us were great fans but I remember an occasion when we all jumped over the wall of the school playing field we spent all of our time in and into the alley. Steve sang "Into The Alley" (a clever word play on the Skids' biggest hit) as we did so and we all laughed. He will not remember it and if he does he may deny it but it happened. I was there. Happy and uncomplicated days.

Funny how music takes you back.

Terry Henry

Well, I was cheering for Ireland this week while my wife wanted France to win (for lesson planning reasons). What a shame that the winning goal was nothing of the sort, both offside and a double hand ball from Thierry Henry. Although, as my wife commented, the French are very good at the sport of handball; the men were Olympic gold medalists in Beijing.

Henry's comment after the match was "I will be honest, it was a handball. But I’m not the ref. I played it, the ref allowed it. That’s a question you should ask him," In other words, "It's not my fault guv, blame the ref!" (can be read with optional French accent if you prefer.)

Thierry went down in my estimations this week. Something that I'm sure won't bother him unduly, but here was a great player who lit up the Premiership and then... this. He knew it was handball and he kept it shut. What a shame. What a missed opportunity to be truly heroic.

Having said that, who's to say that none of us would have done the same thing? 70,000 French fans go ballistic because you have had a hand (I know) in the goal that put your team through to the World Cup Finals. Do you hold up your hand and confess? It would take some real guts to do that. What would you do? What would I do?

There was someone on the radio this morning who, I believe, hit the nail on the head. They were saying that in the nineteenth century sport was promoted as an activity that would develop character in people. The flip side of that is that sport also reveals your character. I discovered this nearly 25 years ago when I was a new Christian and playing Men's Hockey. I was aware that my language didn't fit my new profession of faith in the heat of battle.

I guess this is what is so sad about Henry's handball. It's revealed something of his character and it's not pretty. I'm glad that my flaws are not exposed so publicly. We sometimes say that sport is totally unimportant but perhaps we see exactly here why it is important. In a tight situation, it reveals who we are and what we are really like - the real me rather than the sanitised version I like to project in life and on blogs. It reminds us that we are not as great as we would like to think that we are. And that we need saving from ourselves.

Carnival

It's the time of year when the Carnival comes to town. If you have never seen it you really should, it's quite a spectacle, part of the world famous Bridgwater Carnival circuit. It was a cold but dry one and the two hour parade contained some amazing floats. At one point the Helloween cart was followed by one with the theme the Kingdom of Heaven (all wings and harps and Robbie Williams' Angels). That kind of thing seems to sum up Carnival, throw in some young farmers in drag dancing to the Wurzels and you get the idea.

I make it sound awful. Come and try it. It's said to be the biggest illuminated Carnival in the world and quite unlike anything I had seen before. And it comes down the end of my road so it's really easy to get to.

The pictures here are of the winners of the two main classes. The top one is a Robin Hood tableau - the class where the people on the cart have to freeze into position for the whole two hour procession and they are judged on their cart and their ability to stay stock still. The second, Joust, won the overall category and the thing that made them stand out was that the dragons on the front actaully breathed fire.

And it goes very well with a flask of mulled wine.

Vinyl Countdown

Well, it had to happen one day and that day was last week. I packed the boxes and headed to Oxfam in Exeter. They were very understanding and gentle with me, leading me to conclude that they must have had special training. Perhaps a one day seminar on "Middle Aged Men and their Records - Bereavement, Empathy and Grieving". I realise that those who know me will require photographic proof, hence the picture. It doesn't look like much in my big boot but it was 160 albums, 120 12" singles and a stack of singles too.

I'm doing okay. Thanks for asking. Some days are obviously easier than others but a day at a time, I guess. Time is a great healer they say and so long as I don't linger near Radio 2 for too long and hear a tune that sets me off I should get through.

Headship and Head Scarves - 1 Corinthians 11

Why did I think it was a good idea to preach through 1 Corinthians? That's what I was wondering as I set about 1 Cor 11:2-16 last week. Head hurt and lost sleep over such a varied set of interpretations, some of which I thought were pretty disgraceful.

V.3 and headship - what's that about then? There seem to be three options.

1 - to have authority over

2 - to represent

3 - to be the source of

The general idea seems to be that the language points to #3, though I have an inkling that #2 is helpful too. Not so convinced by #1 but some very intelligent people would disagree and I might be wrong. Feel a little like Alesha Dixon asked to judge Strictly, though to be fair she would be better qualified for her task than I feel for mine.

In the end does it matter much? If headship is about ruling over and having authority (which I don’t think it is) then what should it look like? How should a husband have authority over his wife? By loving her and being prepared to lay down his life for her, according to Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5:21 – “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”.

I don't think you'd see a lot of difference between people who read head as meaning #1, #2, or #3 if they are seeking to be like Christ in all they do.

After that the hat issue was a doddle. We will still have the role of women to address in 1 Cor 14 but at least we can relax a bit in the meantime while we talk about the gifts of the Spirit!

The biggest encouragement of Sunday was where people disagreed (as a handful did). They were each so gracious and loving as we talked and it's what family should be like. We were able to discuss and even laugh about the subject and to do so with the security that this needn't and shouldn't change anything between us in terms of relationship.

That feels very precious indeed.

Grumbling

There's a great cartoon here of Moses standing before a parted Red Sea and turning to the Israelites saying, "What do you mean, 'It's a bit muddy?'"

http://www.cartoonsltd.co.uk/artists/artwork-by-bestie/9/114#

I used it in a sermon on 1 Cor 10 recently because it is so easy for us to be like that. We are a rescued people, freed from slavery by a loving God. And sometimes we grumble, "It's a bit muddy" when we should be rejoicing that we are on narrow way that leads to salvation.

End of sermon.

Music that no-one else cares about...

At long last two searched for albums have had mp3 releases.

The Men They Couldn't Hang - The Domino Club and Faith Brothers - A Human Sound are both vinyl albums I own and now I can listen to them on the iPod.

Bliss!

The power of encouragement

Was very frustrated at the game on Saturday. Exeter City were playing at home to Wycombe. Wycombe are bottom of League 1 and we are struggling too after two successive promotions. In the end we equalized in stoppage time to earn a point. We didn't set the park alight but the boys played alright and a win wouldn't have been undeserved. I would venture to say that we looked very good for the first 25 minutes.

But then it kicked in. The verbals from the home crowd at their own team. Every misplaced pass, every missed tackle, every perceived lack of effort. I guess a number of the crowd are used to us winning a lot of games over the last couple of years and playing some fantastic football at the same time. Now it's tougher and - unbelievably - some are calling for our (most sucessful manager ever) to go.

It's incredible that the team plays as well as they do with the rubbish they have to put up with from so called supporters. It cannot help the cause.

If Paul Tisdale were to pack up and walk away we would only have ourselves to blame. Thankfully he seems to be more gutsy and more intelligent than that.

There have been times in the past when church seemed discouraging because of the moaning and grumbling that went on. I can now see it was very small beer indeed.

Frankie Says Relax

Spent some of my day off today making soup while listening to Radio 4. The arts programme closes by saying that tomorrow they will be celebrating 25 years since Frankie Goes to Hollywood first burst upon the scene.

Being raised in the sticks I was pretty unaware of the whole Frankie thing until being at a concert and seeing all the Frankie Says Relax teeshirts. Oddly it was a concert featuring unlikely Frankie bed fellows (I know...) Nazareth, Jason and the Scorchers (who were bottled-off), Gary Glitter on his umpteenth comeback, Marillion (who were a lot of the reason I was there) and Status Quo. It was billed as "Quo's Last Stand" their last concert ever. they were also on the radio this afternoon talking about how they have always toured and only took a year off in about 1984. They are touring again this autumn. It was 25 years ago when I saw them and - as is the case every now and again - I feel a bit older. Quite a bit older.

But then I am spending my leisure time making soup and listening to Radio 4.

The fuss over funerals

An Anglican priest has found his blog hit the news - time to be careful! Ed Tomlinson has caused a bit of a fuss with his comments on funerals - you can read the story here:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article6881679.ece

Basically he says that sometimes he wonders why he bothers. At the Crem he has to stand by like a lemon as people have a Tina Turner song played or "My Way" as the coffin disappears behind the curtain. He says he has better things to do.

I have some sympathy with him and in a slightly different context Jesus did say to to let the dead bury their own dead. Doubtless Jesus would get into trouble for having that on his blog.

Some personal observations from funerals I have officiated at:

• Sometimes you do feel like a spare part as some people seem to have you there because it is the done thing. They seem to have no real interest in anything other than getting through the best way they know how. And I guess that's understandable.
• It is emotionally gruelling to do funerals on a regular basis and I say that as someone who takes less than a dozen a year. Ed will, in all likelihood, being doing one or more a week.
• I find that the hardest funerals to take are those where there is no obvious hope in the face of death because the deceased expressed no interest in God. Playing ''My Way'' at a funeral is a good expression of that independent spirit that says, 'I make my own rules'. The Bible calls that sin.
• You may find this odd but the easier funerals are where you know and love the person and know that they trusted in Jesus in the face of their death. You still grieve but it is tempered by a certain joy as well - "we do not grieve as those without hope" as it says in a book I am reading.
• I was once at funeral where "Goodbye My Lover" by James Blunt was played. It was very raw and ripped shreds out of people - a ghastly experience.
• Most of the relatives I sit with are grateful for assistance in planning the funeral and I have never been turned down when I have offered to pray for them at the end of our meeting together. I can leave booklets about coping with grief with them.
• The Crem service is about 22 minutes long where I am (it varies around the country) which is a little too rushed for my liking. But it gives me a little time to lead people in prayer, read a short passage from the Bible, and to speak in the address of the hope that can be found in the face of death through trusting in Christ and his forgiveness.
• Nearly everyone I ever buried has the most wonderful person imaginable. I look forward to people being a little dishonest about me at my funeral.
• Sometimes you wonder whether anyone is capable of hearing much at the service itself.
• I often think that my 'aftercare service' is sadly lacking in terms of following people up a month or two down the line. Realistically do we have the resources to do this though?
• I think that nearly all the families I have dealt with have been very thankful and they have expressed that to me.
• I never feel like doing anything after a funeral. Which is difficult when you have a funeral in the morning.
• I'm glad that I am able to be of assistance in this way but I don't go out of my way to look for funerals, they are hard for clergy too.

Too late!

Harvest hymn sung during our evening service recently contained the lines:

"Thine is our youthful prime,

And life and all its powers."

We sang it with an average age in the room of around 65.

We saw the funny side.

You a church? You can't come in!

Received an email today from some people who want to start a gospel church for those who like a more traditional service in Canterbury. After an intervention from the Cathedral their booking was cancelled two days before they were due to go live and they were told they are not allowed to book any of the (church-linked) school property that they were planning to use. Julian Clary, on the other hand, is allowed to play one of it's venues next week.

Odd.

Thankfully they were able to arrange a new venue and will go ahead with the opening tomorrow.

My old gall...

...is now a fully fledged teacher, having yesterday finished her NQT year.

The girl did tremendous!

Giving Away Money - 4

We have gathered in most of the envelopes from "Burnham's Got Talents" and most of the results are in.

Drum roll...


We gave out eighty envelopes containing a tenner each and gave out the challenge to put those talents to work. Which means I was £800 down to begin with and silly as it might sound it felt like a big risk. And to be sure some of the envelopes haven't been returned and may never be. A quarter of the envelopes were returned with the ten pounds and nothing more - which I find quite amazing given that we spoke about the parable of the talents and the fate of the duff servant on the day it was given out. I got one note back telling me the point of the parable was to show that we could be trusted with small things in order to be entrusted with greater things - but simply returning the £10 too. Weird.


But, lots went for it as recorded previously in Giving Away Money -3. One man walked from Burnham-on-Sea to Bridgwater and another sponsored effort was a swim which the woman used to tell people why she was doing it and it gave her the chance to tell people about the church. There are some great stories amongst the feedback.

So we are currently in the position where - without having all the envelopes returned - we have turned £800 to just over £1500. I think it's more than likely that we will, like the good guys in the parable, double what we were entrusted with. Which is a fabulous effort. I'll post a final figure when we know it.

Careforce Conference

I am currently at a conference for young volunteers from all over the world who have just started service for a year or two in churches and projects across the UK. It is quite unlike any conference I have ever attended and it is hard to describe the vibrancy of the event. I have a list of our nationalities somewhere which I will post later but it is an amazing mix of people, white faces are a minority, and it is a privilege to spend time with such a loud and enthusiastic group. I am doing some Bible readings here and it is humbling to be speaking to these people and I rather suspect that I will gain more from the experience than any of them. Speaking to so many people of different cultures means I can't reference old 80's sitcoms in my talks. I am comforted (again) by the fact that God can speak through a donkey if he so chooses.

Here is the list: Uganda, Cameroon, Kenya, Ghana, Wales, Mexico, Slovakia, Namibia, Nigeria, Germany, Peru, Scotland, Colombia, Philippines, Canada, England, Pakistan, Japan, Northern Ireland, India, Gambia, and Tanzania.

Heaven will be like this.

What do you say?

Very busy this week but squeezed in a quick pastoral visit to someone who is ill and used to be in our church (long story). Within a couple of sentences I am told, "You've put on a lot of weight".

I left (later) with two questions:

• What do you say in a situation like that?
• Why did I bother?

Going up

Nice of a member of the congregation to give me a diary for 2010. What does it tell you about me and/or the congregation here that it's a trade diary from a Stairlift company?